One thing that my sister and I did together was to select the music to be played at out brother's funeral. This was a really hard thing to do, but I think very beneficial. As I said in the eulogy, a really good friend of ours sang at the service during a period of reflection after the eulogies and that was very hard for her too. It was one of the most wonderful gestures made for our family.
Anyway, here are our selections. We thought it would take a while to get everyone into the chapel, so there were the following two pieces:
We wanted reasonably contemporary music, but did not want to use music that was inappropriate or shocking to the older people who would be attending. I think both of these pieces worked really well and they created the right atmosphere for mourning. (I hope that doesn't ruin them for anyone else!)
On exit from the chapel we used one of Muz's favourite bands, The Cure.
This such a beautiful song. Some Cure purists (like @paulhagon) will say that this is not the best version, but we used the Extended Dub Mix from Mixed Up deliberately. I think it is softer and even more beautiful than the original. The lyrics are not completely appropriate, but this is the song that will always put images of my brother in my mind.
My experience is that music is very important at funerals, especially for those people who respond emotionally to musical stimulation.