Showing posts with label Muz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Muz. Show all posts

24 June 2010

Social media & real "friends"


One thing I've learnt from my brother's recent death is the power and importance of real friends and the support they provide when you really need them. Family are very important, but they're not enough. I have witnessed the love of my mother's friends, my sister's friends, my brother's friends, my sister-in-law's friends and benefited from that of my own. I doubt I would have survived as well in one piece without them.

Today I think we saw that the power of social media and plain old ordinary media friends is not enough. We now have a new PM and I'm glad we do. She seems like a real person and a decent one at that. She is not just a social media presence nor just the darling of our fickle media. Our previous PM started out with a big media and social media wave of support behind him, but it wasn't enough to sustain a real support base when push came to shove. I think he neglected to build a solid base of friends who would support him through thick and thin.

16 June 2010

My new orchid



Over the long weekend a close friend visited from Melbin. He bought me this orchid in memory of my late brother Muz. I think it is stunning.

08 June 2010

Music for our brother

One thing that my sister and I did together was to select the music to be played at out brother's funeral. This was a really hard thing to do, but I think very beneficial. As I said in the eulogy, a really good friend of ours sang at the service during a period of reflection after the eulogies and that was very hard for her too. It was one of the most wonderful gestures made for our family.

Anyway, here are our selections. We thought it would take a while to get everyone into the chapel, so there were the following two pieces:





We wanted reasonably contemporary music, but did not want to use music that was inappropriate or shocking to the older people who would be attending. I think both of these pieces worked really well and they created the right atmosphere for mourning. (I hope that doesn't ruin them for anyone else!)

On exit from the chapel we used one of Muz's favourite bands, The Cure.



This such a beautiful song. Some Cure purists (like @paulhagon) will say that this is not the best version, but we used the Extended Dub Mix from Mixed Up deliberately. I think it is softer and even more beautiful than the original. The lyrics are not completely appropriate, but this is the song that will always put images of my brother in my mind.

My experience is that music is very important at funerals, especially for those people who respond emotionally to musical stimulation.

An update & some analysis


I think that some people may have wondered why I put my brother's eulogy up on this blog about a month ago. There seems to be a lot of online tributes these days elsewhere, although they sometimes get ruined by idiots on Facebook, and I think that posting it has helped my grieving.

I talked it over with my sister very seriously before we decided to go ahead and in retrospect I believe it was a good idea. There were a lot of folk who simply could not make it to the funeral service and we decided that we wanted more people to know about him because he was such a decent and modest man.

I looked at Google analytics this morning and it has had 304 views since it went up. It has had 244 unique views (& therefore about 60 repeat views) and the average time spent on it was just under six minutes. These figures are both on the high side compared to the usual for my run of-the-mill posts.

Maybe I should apologise for continually mentioning his loss, but grief is such an all consuming thing that it still dominates most of my thoughts and activities. What has helped me is coming to work as much as I could and spending time with family and friends. The people at work have really been wonderfully supportive and my friends have offered very helpful advice.

The image is from a Deus bike swap meet I attended with my brother last year. Muz loved Colnagos.

03 June 2010

A collection of thoughts


It has been raining on and off for ages in Sidknee.
I don't like riding or running when it is wet and cold.
I bought a new red and white umbrella.
I should not complain as Sidknee weather is actually pretty mild.
There is a mystery leak in my house that is ruining the carpet in the spare bedroom.
I've been riding indoors watching recorded shows and DVDs.
I watch a lot of Vampire and crime flicks.
Then I walk to the light rail and catch a tram to work.
I like the light rail.
I miss having my bike in my office, but don't know why.
I listen to music while walking and check email and Twitter on the tram.
Currently I'm enjoying the new Cloud Control and Midnight Juggernauts albums.
My walking track is so dark at night that I'm now taking a torch with me.
I think the walk in the weather is a good reminder of the benefits provided by shelter at home and at work.
I'm lucky.
My friends at work have been fantastically supportive since my brother's death.
Friends surrounded me at a talk yesterday.
I'm very lucky.
Inclement weather seems more appropriate for grieving.
Soon I think I'll be able to concentrate enough to read books again.
That doesn't mean I'll ever finish them.
I think they are getting closer to finding the source of the leak at home.
When you have a leak in your house you don't enjoy the sound of rain as much.

11 May 2010

Murray Stuart Booth, 1963-2010


I want to thank all those who came to my brother’s funeral on Monday 10 May to farewell him and also to those who came to support his family who will miss him so much. In particular, I would like to thank those like Nick Osborne from the London, UK who travelled so far to be with us on Monday. I would also like to thank our dear family friend Jeanne Lange who sang the Irish Blessing for us during a period for reflection after the eulogies and Richard Westmoreland from Randwick Botany Cycling Club who delivered a very touching eulogy. Murray (Muz to us) was a very modest man who never liked a fuss made of himself and I think he would have been quite shocked by the turn out, but I can assure everyone that his whole family has already drawn much strength from all the support shown and kind words said on the day.

These words are based on the eulogy that I struggled to deliver on Monday. I have not been able to tell everyone I know about his death because the day I spent informing my whole family about his death on 2 May was too difficult to believe and not something anyone should ever have to do.

Muz was born in Sydney, but really he grew up in Melbourne as a boy and young man. Most of his high school years were spent at a selective boys school in inner Melbourne and there he played water polo and did well at subjects like Mathematics.

He gained a university entry score, but decided not to continue with formal education, starting work with the AMP in Melbourne after matriculating. He soon started to pursue some of his passions: cars, his dog Tim and bikes. Murray bought a Mini Cooper and started enjoying driving with his close friend Richard. (We were not able to contact Richard before the funeral.)They made some long trips away together in that car including one to deepest Queensland. Soon he acquired a wonderful Newfoundland dog that he called Tim. People say that dogs resemble their owners and I think Tim was a reflection of Murray’s personality. Tim was always puppy-like and one enormous dog who could stand with his paws on my shoulders and lick me fair in the face. He was gentle like Muz but his slobber had all the qualities of Tarzan’s Grip and it made interesting sounds when it hit the walls of the house as he shook it off his snout. They were wonderful to see together and Tim would do anything Muz asked of him. Dad had retired by then, so Tim amused his house colleague while Muz was away at work by eating all of Dad’s pot plants, some of his trees and then made a decent start on the terra-cotta pots. Tim thought he was a person, so soon became Muz’s driving companion in the Mini Cooper. He always sat in the front passenger seat and if I was ever lucky enough to be taken for a drive, I had to squeeze into the small back bench seat around Tim who also got himself in first. Tim became accomplished at rallying on country roads and whilst he never quite made it as a navigator, he did once make it into the driver’s seat indicating to Muz, that he thought it was about his turn to drive.

It was in Melbourne that Muz began his passion for bicycles. He rode with the hard vets of the eastern suburbs in the days of leather soled shoes and road bikes with toe clips. There he learned his road bike skills and eventually saved enough for his first serious bike, having it made by Cecil Walker in Melbourne city. He still loved that bike and it hangs with pride of place in the fleet that fills his garage at home. (I conducted several guided tours of his bike collection during the wake for various family members who did not understand the depth of his passion for bikes.)

I guess what our family also remembers about Muz in Melbourne was his love of the Goodies and the latter Monty Python productions, particularly The Life of Brian and Fawlty Towers. He had a very funny sense of the ridiculous that his sister Mez and I always found very amusing. We will miss his cheeky grin and dimples terribly.

After a while Muz and Tim took a transfer to Tasmania to work in Hobart. He bought himself a home and seemed to enjoy life there for several years. Muz eventually sold up and moved back to the mainland, but Tim would not have handled another shift of climate and he retired to a farm in Tassie.

Muz worked for a time in the AMP in Sydney, but he really hated it and decided to chuck it all in and go to university to study to become an accountant. He enrolled in a Commerce degree at the University of Wollongong and it was there that he met and started dating his wife Jenny. That was over 17 years ago. Over his time in Sydney he continued his passion for cars and first acquired an awful looking Holden HSV Walkinshaw that Mum and Mez called the Spearmint Machine or Ralph because of the sound it made when it roared away. That was eventually replaced by an older Brock HSV The Black Beauty which he still owns. I think Jenny used to call it the brothel car and did not like to be taken anywhere in it. We have a lot in common! He raced both HSVs in club races on tracks around the Sydney region.

About 13 years ago, he married Jenny and I was honored to be their best man at the wedding. I remember the day well because I had never seen my brother so happy. I think that day would only have been matched by the birth of his son Ben and his daughter Alexis. He was completely devoted to his family as a husband and as a father. His family was really his number one passion in life. My sister Mez loved to watch Muz with his kids: their little hands in his big hands was such a sight to behold. Sometimes he just loved to sit and watch them play. I think his wife and children completed him as a person.

I now want to illustrate several of Muz’s traits and characteristics that I’ve not yet mentioned.

Most people who knew him would acknowledge his generosity, with his support and assistance for others and also with his empathy for others. He enjoyed helping many of his friends to purchase the right bike and gear for their needs, often referring to himself as “muz.con” because “.com” was taken. He had helped both his sister Mez and I with moving house several times, providing both heavy lifting and many silly observations to keep us all entertained during those long hard days. Recently, he and Mum helped me unpack a whole house after my move to Sydney in early 2009. He was really glad to see his sister happy (after marrying Phil recently) and me back in Sydney where we could do much more together.

He was gregarious, though he’d not have said that of himself. Whenever we were in bike shops anywhere, someone would say hello to him. And he could work a crowd socially, not as the centre of attention, but because of his genuine openness and warmth. It was his suggestion to buy a dog for Mum and Dad over 11 years ago despite my reservations at the time. It was probably the best gift we ever gave them at Xmas time. Of course, I later claimed all of the credit, but Mum knew all along it was Muz’s idea.

Muz was a very decent man and I think he admired those qualities in our father. He was forgiving, not judgmental, considerate and respectful of others, particularly his Dad, his father-in-law, and many of his friends from cycling. He had long admired two friends from school who became Olympians: John Fox in water polo and Shaun Panayi in diving.

Later in his life he remained passionate about his cars and bikes. He loved Top Gear and would often message or call me while watching the show. He had tickets to take his son Ben to the live show in Sydney. I think he enjoyed everything about cycling: the drama; the sound of a pack spinning together; the colour and scenery; the degree of difficulty; the devotion of the participants; the traditions and legends; the machinery; and the artistry of the bikes. He had learned much from the veterans of the road in Melbourne and in Sydney he road and raced with the Randwick Botany Cycling Club. He followed that passion most recently by by setting up his own business in bike insurance assessment. I think he relished the opportunity to work on something he enjoyed so much. I greatly admired his initiative and his independence.

Muz was my wise counsel for just about everything in life: jobs, houses, superannuation, bikes, and cars. I asked him before making decisions on all of these matters. For the last 10 years or so I think he rated me somewhere between a four year old child and a helpless village idiot. It was a family joke that he would never trust me with important tasks like our BBQs even though he hated doing it himself. 25 years ago I decided to do my first Ironman and it was very very early in the sport’s history in Australia. I sought his advice about getting a proper bike to race it on and he arranged for me to get one built to his specifications by Gordon Hill at Hillman in Melbourne. A year earlier, Gordon had built the frames for the Australian Olympic team in L.A. so when I found that out I really felt unworthy to ride it well enough. Only the best was good enough for his brother. I had given him the old bike after he helped unpack my house in 2009, but I will now restore that bike myself. He sourced or approved all of my racing bikes. I can even remember phoning Muz from a bike store in Honolulu in late 2008 before I purchased a new pair of bike shoes. Recently, he and I converted the bike I last raced in Hawaii into a single-speed bike for inner Sydney streets at Deus in Camperdown. He realised what that bike meant to me and again had to approve all of the changes. It got to the stage where Pierro at Deus would suggest something to me and before I could say anything he would tell me to just ask my brother about it and then get back to him the next day.

Muz was always there for me when I needed him as a friend and a brother. I loved him and I will miss him more than anyone can imagine.